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Fueling Station

May 2007

Being Honest About Myself

I remember when I really read and focused on the words in Section 59 which follow.

2a. Wherefore I give unto them a commandment, saying thus: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him.

2b. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

2c. Thou shalt not steal; neither commit adultery, nor kill, nor do anything like unto it.

2d. Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.

2e. Thou shalt offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteousness; even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

2f. And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; for verily this is a day appointed unto thee to rest from thy labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High;

2g. nevertheless thy vows shall be offered up in righteousness on all days, and at all times;

2h. but remember that on this, the Lord's day, thou shalt offer thine oblations, and thy sacraments, unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.

When I read 2h I couldn’t quite understand why I should confess my sins to other church members and before the Lord.

Since that time, I come to understand many things which make this scripture so plain and simple and also full of truth.

When I was younger, I was so much the natural man. I have since learned so much about Pride within me. Pride is that which does not allow me to admit when I am wrong. It does not allow me to state the truth. It does not allow me to live the truth. All these admissions would be a way of being weak as to the world. I was not about to show my weakness to anyone. I was not about to be frail. I knew people would take advantage of me. Therefore, I hid, lied, and pretended to be strong.

What I now understand is that when I admit my failings no one can use that information against me unless I allow myself to be hurt by the truth. It is so true of the alcoholic who must first admit they are an alcoholic before they can overcome their alcoholism. Therefore, we also must admit the truth about ourselves. When the alcoholic boldly states, “I know I am an alcoholic and I am trying to overcome my addiction and would you please help me,” it softens the hearts of others to his plight. Those who shun the alcoholic for admitting weakness are afraid of being found out about their deception.

As Christians, we are called to help our brothers and we all have demons we carry. We will continue to carry the demons until we admit our weaknesses. For each person they are different. For some it is alcohol. For others it may be pornography, drugs, power, control, popularity, envy, always being right, getting in the last word, hiding our insecurity, not liking our looks or our bodies, thinking we are better than others, being ashamed of being abused, or any number of other things we are afraid others will discover.

The road to recovery is confessing to yourself, to God, and to others your weaknesses (especially those who love you) and to allow that confession to set you free.

Pray to God that you will have the strength to see your weaknesses and to be able to admit them to God and yourself. Pray that you may be able to share your weaknesses with those who love you and who are able to help you overcome.